My Bubblewrap Helmet

The Only Constructive Thing I Have Done Today Is:

Make a helmet from bubblewrap.
It looks like this but more 3D:

Things I can use this for:
1) Stopping the police from detecting my Thought Crimes.
2) Headbutting animals that fly at me. Especially ones with sharp beaks. "You shall not harm me, sharp-beaked-flying animals!!"
3) Floating. Possibly as a disguise for floating into restricted waters where people will be all "Ewww, look at that polluted water, there's a big bit of bubblewrap in that dirty restricted area water. Yuck." Little do they know the bubblewrap is armed to the teeth and has a bone to pick with society.
4) Capture bugs and give them their own personal ecosystem inside a little bio-dome. They can all live in bubble-environs as a part of the giant community that is my helmet. It will be an experiment of sorts. A step towards a dystopian future.... Which i can wear!!!! Finally, fashionable science experiments!

I might just wear it for fun though. People react strangely when you cover your head in protective plastic packaging. The growling at them and drooling probably doesn't help my cause.
At least I'll get a seat to myself on the train.

I also need to name my helmet, but can't think of anything good....
I've come up with
Pop
Bubba
Intermittently Oxygen Inflated Polymer Packaging Cranium Protection Device
MichaelJackson's-Monkey Wrap Helmet
Hat

I also sold my car todaay. I guess that's constructive.